Time to regroup...

Is this really what I desire? For few years now I deliberated on the career path I would like to take...decision making does not come easy..but I thrived finally with high hopes and certainty of where I eventually want to get to and become.

Things have not been very smooth and I wouldn't say it has been all roses....... Is it the audacity of hope that I lack or lacking? There have been some few successes but I feel like the failures are near enough out weighing my successes. I'm overwhelmed with these fiascoes...years ago I had power in my belly and all flowed like water falls on very thing I put my hands and mind on...

I feel like I have lost the grip with all and I'm continuously falling but there doesn't seem to be an end to the height from which I'm falling. I wish I could hit the ground to end this fall so I can regroup, flap my wings and fly off again like a bird learning to fly...only this time on the wings of success.

I'm repeatedly asking my self - is this really for me, is this my destiny, is this God's plan for me to become what I have chosen to become? Am I being told something of which I'm failing to hear? I want to be strong for myself and journey through these walls of failures and tribulations but every passing minute of my life feels like the walls are closing in on me... They say what you believe about your life is more important than what anyone else believes...My worry is I don't even know if I believe me in me anymore...

Is like money is being thrown out only purchases packages of failures...I need your help God and I need answers to these lessons of life...as I don't want what I fear to come upon me...the good book tells me that everything that I need has already been provided...I just have to reach and grab it...of which I thought I was.

Perhaps I'm not stretching enough to grab it...I acknowledge obstacles are part of life...but I have to keep advising myself that struggle is a proof that I haven't been conquered yet, that I refuse to surrender, that victory is still possible even in the light of my all failures, and that I am growing...

It is time to take time out to regroup and face my nemesis through to defeat...