Therapy~

Some Real life terminologies and definitions you may want to keep handy

• Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.
• Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
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• Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
• Blowing your buffer - Losing your train of thought.
• Salmon day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
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• Depotphobia - Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how much money one might spend. Electronics geeks experience Shackophobia.
• Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
• Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
• Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
• 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found", meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man."
• Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions. Used as in "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
• Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
• Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
• Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
• Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
• Telephone Number Salary - A salary (or project budget) that has seven digits.
• Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dale, my...um...friend."

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 every dog has its day!

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A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders..

The man says , "A hamburger , fries and a coke , " and turns to

The ostrich , "What's yours?" "I'll have the same , " says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will Be $9.40 please."  The man reaches into his pocket and Pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day , the man and the ostrich come again and the man Says , "A hamburger , fries and a coke."  The ostrich says , "I'll have the same."  Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" Asks the waitress. "No , this is Friday night , so I will have a steak , baked potato And a salad , " says the man."Same , " says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says , "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and Places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me , Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change In your pocket every time?" "Well , " says  the man , "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and Found an old lamp. When I rubbed it , a Genie appeared and offered Me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything , I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money Would always be there." "That's  brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a Million dollars or something , but you'll always be as rich as you want For as long as you live!" "That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce , the exact Money is always there , " says the man.   The waitress asks , "What's with the ostrich?"   The man sighs , pauses and answers , "My second wish was for a tall chick With a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."