Booty calls - rules and principles~

I picked this up sometime back and I thought it was quite diverting...as you already know this blog is about sharing and enlightening so here we are. As amusing as some of them may come across I hope fervently that you just may be able to pick something out of it - possibly to advise yourself where applicable.

BOOTYCALL RULES FOR MEN AND WOMEN: THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

3. No calls or pings before 10pm - we don't have shit to talk about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance just leave your phone on vibrate when I ping you, you know what time it is

7. Don't add me on facebook

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with benefits" we are not friends, just sex buddies.

11.Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep or hugging right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the  fuck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

15. Don't be offended if I don't drop you home so bring your oyster card and no I don't have no  money for a cab.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.

20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

22. Don't ping me when you get home coz I'll be asleep

Ladies beware - if you feel like you are in a relationship and unfortunately it seems to be defined by some of these characteristics, get packing ASAP - you are a booty call! Equal opportunities and rights ~ men you can also be victimised.